I’m sitting here in the quiet of the morning having finally dragged myself out of bed before my children have the chance to wake me up. It feels good! My coffee’s beside me, I’m looking out my window to the backyard, and the birds are serenading me with their sweet morning calls. Why don’t I do this every day? Oh, right, because usually my kids are waking me through the night and I’m exhausted.
In the last semester of my graduate program I was so burned out on school and so tired of writing papers that I literally COULD NOT write anything ahead of time. In fact, I defined “ahead of time” as 24 hours before it was due. Most weeks I was writing something the morning of the deadline and rushing to class to turn it in. I still managed to finish my courses with As but I certainly wasn’t submitting my best work. Or at least my most thought-out, well-edited work.
Last night, after we put the kids to bed, I waited at the front door for groceries to be delivered. Groceries I ordered on my computer while at my desk three hours before. I felt like some kind of queen. I didn’t sign up for the service because I like sitting on my throne waiting for people to serve me. I signed up for it after scrounging in our kitchen every night this week and serving our kids scrambled eggs for dinner three nights in a row.
There are so many days when the laundry is left in the basket, the dishes are piled in the sink, and we’re making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner. Could I wash, fold, and put away our clothes all in the same day? Probably. Could I make sure to load the dishes before I go to bed? Likely. Could I plan out our meals and whip up something simple after I get home from work or set the crock-pot in the morning? Well, it will be a lot easier now that I’ll have groceries but sure, it’s doable. But I’m tired at the end of the day and most nights I just want to sit on the couch with my husband and watch a rerun of Fixer Upper or Friends (of course I still watch Friends, it’s the best show ever).
I may not wake up when my alarm goes off every morning. I may have to pay $50 a year for someone else to shop for and deliver my groceries. I may not serve home-cooked meals every day or get all my chores done in a timely manner. It may not be my best work. But I’m certainly doing my best.
At some point in my life, I’m sure I’ll excel in those areas. I’ll learn how to meal plan and make delicious home-cooked meals that my kids will eat (or at least my husband will eat). I’ll be able to do a load of laundry a day. I’ll make it a habit of waking up as the sun rises. But am I going to do all of that today? No, I’m not. I’m going to do what I can.
Today I woke up early but my hair hasn’t been washed since Sunday. I gave my kids their vitamins for the fifth day in a row but I haven’t cooked a meal all week. I wrote two blog posts and put something up on Instagram each day but I still haven’t written any copy for my website. Celebrate your wins today. It may not be your best. But doing the best you can is good enough.