One of my favorite concepts in therapy is dialectics–the notion that two opposing ideas can be true at the same time. Kinda like the I-love-you-but-can’t-stand-you-right-now type of situation. You know, like when your husband is napping while your children are awake. Or your four-year old is telling you to “say sorry” because you scolded her.
I was reminded of this concept last week while listening to my second podcast of the day (my new obsession, by the way). In the first, I was being encouraged to believe that where I am right now is where I need to be. I don’t need to do anything else to bring worth to my life. Yes! I am enough! I can feel good about myself and who I am today–not yesterday or tomorrow. I felt accepted and valued.
Then I listened to the second where the speaker declared that I am made for more. I was made to be more than who I am today. That instead of being content with where I am right now, I should listen to that spark, that desire, within me for something more. Yes! I can do great things! I can achieve my dreams! I felt encouraged and motivated.
I am enough but I am made for more?
How does that work?
It works because two opposing things can be true at the same time. You have inherent worth, which means who you are today is ultimately good. But you also have goals you want to achieve, hopes for being better, and things you wish to change. Those are important as well–and if you are content to remain the same you will never fulfill your full potential. You were made for more because you were made to grow and learn and develop, even as an adult. And where you are right now is where you are meant to be–it’s all a part of the journey.
We talk about dialectics in therapy because in order to change, you have to first learn to accept yourself. Change takes courage and confidence. In order to move forward, take risks, and try something new, you have to believe that you are capable of doing so.
You are enough. Believe that with your whole heart. Let those words sink in and fill you with worthiness and value.
Then listen to that still, small voice within you that calls out for something more. A dream yet realized, a goal hiding away. There is a potential waiting to be fulfilled. You were made for more.